My Turn

~Brane Žilavec

Dear Friends – As you know, I have tried over these years to bring Spiritual Scientific analysis into what is behind the current world situation. Anthroposophia is not only working within us for inner development but also thru our soul forces into the world we all share.


Recently I have been entertaining the notation of inviting the being representing the Corona Crisis into me, so that I could have a personal experience from which to better understand what forces are working amongst us. Many times I have felt the being try to enter me. It’s like a pushing around the aura of my head. But I have always fought it off with my potions & precautions. I even got a stash of Ivermectin that I take prophylactically when traveling by plane etc…It has always worked, for my will is strong, & usually there is no room in my schedule for even the thought of the sick bed. While I have heard stories from my friends & family of how they got sick, sometimes multiple times, I was grateful that all this time I had not succumbed.

Wassily Kandinsky

I have been thinking a lot about the story of how Steiner could feel the influenza virus on the train one day. He decided as an experiment to allow the being in, to see what it was like.

Well dear friends, over the Labor Day Weekend a group of us took CG to the Jazz Fest for his Birthday at the fabulous Millennium Park in downtown Chicago. It was glorious. It’s true that mixing with the music & the crowd, I could feel the Corona in the atmosphere, which is not unusual; it has attached itself to the ethers very strongly for a while now. Later that evening I felt the familiar push to enter my head, but instead of taking my oregano oil & other supplements I just went to bed, & told my angel that if it was meant to come into me, so be it.

Wham! Even in half sleep I knew I had entered Ahriman’s realm – the 1st sensations were a physical piercing of my nervous system with those spikes we have often seen as the main feature in the depiction of the Corona.  This intense electric shock of pain moves around – jumps down my limbs; & as the days went on it penetrated deeper, randomly attacking my inner organs, particularly my liver; kidneys & heart & now my throat & lungs. Even my teeth are on edge. There is no way to rest, or get comfortable, everything is cut thru, as the electrical impulses light up various pain centers.

It feels as if my inner organs are fighting against each other, striking out with spiky hurt. I likened it to the condition which Steiner speaks about as the organs being ‘egotistical’ fighting each other – a disordering of our cosmic origins thru the adversarial forces, which surly would have befallen us permanently, had the pre-earthly deeds of Christ’, not occurred.

The imagination that has arisen for me is that this illness is seeking to awaken humanity to contemplate & renew the gifts given thru the pre-earthly deeds of Christ  – as well as prepare for the next deeds of sacrifice which are seeking to come in thru the etheric & astral realms. If we do not use this opportunity, these graces may become crippled, or taken away.

These deeds “accomplished 3 times before the Mystery of Golgotha, for the salvation of humankind: once in the old Lemurian epoch, then in the Atlantean, & once again at the end of Atlantean times – And then a fourth time in the post-Atlantean epoch at the beginning of our own era”. My thinking tells me that there are 2 more to come in future times..?

In these events the Being who we know as the Nathan-Jesus, is present, permeated by the Christ-Being, living in the spiritual worlds, described by Steiner: “as a Being of the nature of the Archangels. Through permeation with the Christ, the Nathan Soul then assumes an etheric human form.”

In a nutshell, the 3 pre-earthly deeds bestow on humanity the power to stand upright & walk; to speak; & to think. We see this miracle in every normal child’s development before the age of 3.

Thru these 3 pre-earthly deeds “.. something new entered the Cosmos & rayed down upon Earth making it possible for the physical earthly human form, to receive the etheric super-earthly Christ-Being, to protect humanity from that destructive force of Lucifer & Ahriman seeking to impair the Formative Forces, which enable human beings to become an upright harmonious being, instead of an animal bound to the earth.

Disorder would inevitably have entered had not this form-giving force, which was able to stream into humankind, poured in with the forces of the physical Sun.”

Steiner goes on to tell us in the ground breaking lecture of 2 May 1913, London: “…the whole period before the Mystery of Golgotha was only a time of preparation in the evolution of the earth. The Mystery of Golgotha imparted to the earth its meaning and purpose.” This deed accomplished the rescuing of our physical body. But as we can surmise we still need to achieve a redemption for our etheric, astral & “I” forces.

So then Steiner goes on to say that at the end of the 19th Century a 4th deed, a new sacrifice occurred to rescue our etheric body: “The ‘seeds of earthly materialism’ which were increasingly carried into the spiritual world by the souls who went through the portal of death since the sixteenth century, and which caused more and more darkness, built a ‘black sphere of materialism.’ Christ took this black sphere into his being in the sense of the Manichean principle for the purpose of transforming it. For the angel being in which the Christ had manifested himself since the Mystery of Golgotha, the black sphere caused a ‘death by suffocation.’

This sacrifice by Christ in the nineteenth century is comparable to the sacrifice on the physical plane through the Mystery of Golgotha and can be called the second crucifixion of Christ on the etheric plane. This spiritual death by suffocation, which brought about the extinction of the consciousness of the angelic Being is a repetition of the Mystery of Golgotha in those worlds that lie immediately behind our world. It took place to make possible a revival of the Christ consciousness which was earlier hidden in human souls on earth. The revival becomes clairvoyant vision of humanity starting in the twentieth century.”

I have said from the beginning that the image of the Corona is meant to open us up to this vision in the etheric realm, which is being suppressed. And we can certainly experience in this sickness a kind of suffocation.

Is this illness a way of renewing & making these sacrifices our own? It can be if we make this our conscious intention.

Besides trying to overcome the divisiveness of the 5th Post-Atlantean epoch, with its opportunity to more fully enter our free will unselfishly, we are being called now to prepare for the 6th cultural epoch when the Christ-Impulse brings in the 4th human capacity, the power of Chirsted memory – Christ will be able to speak through every soul force, if we make our concepts & ideas alive within us, then Christ will be united with our memories. This requires a sacrifice in the astral realm for us all – Opening humanity to consciously work with our guardian angels to create a social sphere where we revere all life. 

“Should there be upon the Earth a state of materialism in which the Christ is denied, the power of Memory would fall into disorder. More and more people would appear whose memory is chaotic; who become duller and duller in their dark Ego-consciousness.

But through Christ consciousness, history will then be a living memory, because a true understanding of spiritual and historical events can enter the memory; human memory will understand the central point of world-evolution. A perceptive faculty will then arise, directed to one life that will extend over former incarnations.”

The Christ-Event which is now approaching us — not in the physical but in the etheric, and connected with the first kindling of the Christ-permeated Memory — will be such that Christ will approach humanity as an Angel-like Being. For this event we must prepare ourselves.”

I wanted to start writing this today on 9/11 – since it is the perfect example of a ‘spiritual & historical event’ that has entered the collective memory in an extremely biased, skewed way. It has been 21 years; in biography work we say, we have the opportunity to step into our higher Self at this age. Are we willing to approach this memory with the “I” of Christ consciousness?

Can we follow the thru line that extends far into the past, pointing up earlier events like WW1 & Pearl Harbor, that set up the conditions for 9/11. Then we must pull it into the present to apply it to our current situation…? And what about the future?

It’s interesting how anything to do with screens, the false projection in Ahriman’s use of the ethers, feels like poison to me right now – The digitalization rubs my soul raw in my tossing & turning as I try to rest. So I’m sorry if I cannot fully relate my Corona experience in this article.

But I feel deeply that the formative forces of humanity, our uprightness, our ‘Truth Wrought Word’ & pure Heart-Thinking, must be fortified; completely renewed, if we are to transform the Corona into a Crown of glory for humankind.

Even thru the brain-fog, doing various meditations has been a life saver. Filling my senses with Nature’s beauty is another potent balm. Sometimes all I can do is sit in my garden & watch the bees on the golden rod, or the light in the clouds. So many monarchs this year has me reveling in these two verses, by Steiner, which give expression to a great secret of nature:

Behold the plant:
It is the butterfly
Fettered by the earth.

Behold the butterfly:
It is the plant
Freed by the cosmos.

The butterfly is reminding us that we too are beings of light, not meant to be blindly bound to lower materialistic earth forces.

We found a praying mantis on the Joe Pye Weed the other day. And yesterday at sunset a cluster of gigantic dragonflies swarmed the garden playing catch with the bugs, flashing their rainbow colors, ‘taking away our sorrow’, as Steiner mentions in a poem about Summer.

Well, the seasons are certainly shifting now. And I still feel like I have a long way to go before my well-being is restored, & so the Corona experiment continues…


8 thoughts on “My Turn

  1. Remarkable post my friend- I feel myself aligned with you in the struggle to breathe breathe within this charged electrified digital atmosphere. And I too think of the Archangel Jesus and His suffocation in the densifying aura of the earth polluted with out immortality. Is it that the soul must learn to breathe,… can we breathe in light, and find a way to breathe soul to soul to soul? You are always carrying out Hess big questions…I greet you in this spirit and hold you in health and finding our way thru the great AiR trial. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    1. Hi C – Ahh yes, a real Air Trail in deed!
      And it’s true we are being trained to breathe light.
      To breath in the soul of the other without scorn or fear, to bring the light of love to reveal the karmic knots which will heal all divisions.
      Thank you for your insights

    1. Interesting that along with the brain-fog there is also a real clarity that can come thru if it is willed. When it’s the middle of the night & you are completely exhausted & yet your body is so racked that there can be no sleep, it became clear that I could let those sensations rule my thinking, adding to the torture, or I could will myself to speak the Foundation Stone Meditation or some such…A real break thru.

  2. Blessed Turning, Darling Hazel.
    You took your turn when the virus is especially malvolent and have flipped it
    with your rising to Christ as the Father has set it in you to do.
    Thank you for doing this for all of our sakes. I will do my best to stand with you
    with spirit love and offering strength.
    Happy Birthday to Chuck. Please tell us if he takes this particular challenge on as well.
    with Love,

    1. Hello my lovely Caitie. Yes, I didn’t get into it but CG got hit the next day. I guess we are tied together like that.
      It has been interesting quarantining with him all this time. We are finally able to read more which helps. He is digging into the Old Testament…

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