Freedom & Love

Benny Leptesone

Greetings friends – To consciously live up to the task of being human – to embody in this life the Christic qualities of Love – in Freedom – to keep the focus on the goal of achieving the next rung on the ladder of evolution – to become the 10th Hierarchy – these thoughts are with me daily.

I struggle staying in Love – especially when I am experiencing pain – pain in all its myriad manifestations. It seems that for me having pain in my physical body unbalances the other subtle bodies & it’s harder to hold up Love as the selfless ideal, let alone live it relationally.

I am trying to sit with this pain today. It helped that I attended the ‘Consecration of Man’ at the Christian Community this morning instead of struggling to write for 8 hours straight like most days. To let the ‘medicine that makes whole’ enter the wounds – to awaken again the love that lives in the godhood of my soul – this got me thinking about the other most precious human attribute – Freedom.

I have made choices, worked hard & am blessed to live a life that is, for the most part, not bound by outer necessity.  I am graced with a karma that allows me to serve Anthroposophia full time. But today while sitting in the dull throb of pain which clouds my ability to do my chosen work, it hit me that I am not really free if I let my inner perfectionism, or my own enforcement of expectation bind me. Yes it’s true each day I wake with a seed idea or am sparked by a theme or milestone from history. But today I began questioning am I really free? I realize now as I am writing this that today is Thursday & on the 8-Fold path Steiner tells us:

THURSDAY is Right Striving
One should do nothing which lies outside one’s capacities, but one should do everything which is within one’s powers. One should place above everyday life, and that which happens at the moment, goals and ideals, which are in connection with the greatest duties a human being can have. For instance, to develop oneself, by making a habit of these exercises, in order to help one’s fellow human being all the more, to advise them, although perhaps not in the immediate future. What has been said can be summed up in: ‘Make a habit of these exercises.’

Spending hours on the computer, doing research, writing essays which I publish almost every day is begging the question: am I over reaching my capacities? Is all this ‘productivity’ really a call from the spiritual world, or is it just a way of justifying my existence; or perhaps even a convoluted way of procrastinating? It’s true that lately I find it difficult to work on my other projects, especially after spending such long hours in the realm of sub-nature. There is no doubt that the computer time exasperates my health problems.

The ironic thing is most folks tell me they don’t even have time to read everything I offer – so why am I killing myself? Chill hag. Go on your family vacation next week & just live. And then spend all that time & energy writing the pageant for the ASA AGM ‘Building the Temple of the Heart’ conference, instead of getting nervous that it won’t be done or good enough…etc…

Phew, ok, thanks for letting me get that off my chest, attempting to put all that into perspective – to let the ‘pain become crystalized wisdom’. I’m just going to post this without any proof reading or crafting so I can get on to a more balanced healing place…

I will drop in every now & then, So until soon…

Blessings & peace


15 July 2021 – “Speaking with the Stars”: Now Mars moves away lower right of Venus, while brighter Regulus hones in from the upper left. Regulus will pass 1° from Venus on the evening of the 21st.


There is no other way towards a world history in light of anthroposophy than to engage with concrete karmic facts” ~Rudolf Steiner

484 BC – Dedication of the Temple of Castor & Pollux in ancient Rome

1099 –Christian soldiers take the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem lead by Godfrey of Bouillon who became the first ruler of the Kingdom of Jerusalem. He refused the title of King, however, as he believed that the true King of Jerusalem was Christ, preferring the title of Advocate of the Holy Sepulchre. He is also known as the “Baron of the Holy Sepulchre” & the “Crusader King”

1149 – The reconstructed Church of the Holy Sepulchre is consecrated in Jerusalem

1274 – Feast Day of Bonaventure, Italian bishop & saint called the “Seraphic Doctor”

1381 – English Priest John Ball, a leader in the Peasants’ Revolt, is hanged, drawn & quartered in the presence of King Richard II of England whose posthumous reputation was shaped by Shakespeare, in the play Richard II

Rembrandt - De Poolse ruiter, c.1655 (Frick Collection).jpg
The Polish Rider CR

1606 – Birthday of Rembrandt

1741 –Aleksei Chirikov a Russian navigator & captain sights land in Southeast Alaska. He sends men ashore in a longboat, making them the first Europeans to visit Alaska

1799 – The Rosetta Stone is found in the Egyptian village of Rosetta by French Captain Pierre-François Bouchard during Napoleon’s Egyptian Campaign

1815 –Napoleon Bonaparte surrenders aboard HMS Bellerophon

1823 – A fire destroys the ancient Basilica of Saint Paul

1834 – The Spanish Inquisition is officially disbanded after nearly 356 years

1904 – Deathday of Anton Chekhov, Russian playwright & short story writer

1929 – Hugo von Hofmannsthal, Austrian author, poet, and playwright

1955 – Eighteen Nobel laureates sign the Mainau Declaration against nuclear weapons, later co-signed by thirty-four others

1971 – The United Red Army is founded in Japan

Glennis Siverson

POD (Poem Of the Day)

~Mine is
A heart of ruby-red
Crimson hot
& dark as murder on a Holy Day…
Mine is a heart of emerald,
The gnarled roots
Of a rosewood bursting with thorns
& bright blossoms in the Sun…

26 thoughts on “Freedom & Love

  1. Hi I really enjoyed reading your article today somehow you reach the good in me and bring it and my light back up thankyou.and educational too.

  2. Hi Hazel, yes, to dovetail on Tanya’s comment… I have dropped by some older posts of yours in the “related” articles right above the comment section. I think that is a great feature, and also adds the the theme of the ‘now’ in a way, too. I suppose it becomes like a communal journal of sorts, even though it all started from you. So, thank you for your work here, it really has been helpful!

  3. Dear Hazel, your posts are always so insightful and thought-provoking! I treasure all the work you put into the research, choosing the images, and dealing with the website itself – having a small idea of what is involved. My love and admiration go out to you, which I know is echoed by many who engage with you on this forum. Sending healing waves to you as you find your balance.

  4. Praying for you. You have been quite a beacon of strength and wisdom for me.Your words resonate deeply in me. Thankyou.
    Peace and rest be with you

  5. Good morning Hazel,

    First know how much I appreciate all you give as I am sure it takes a great effort to daily create Reverse Ritual along with everything else you are doing.
    Just as a reflection for you contemplation ….I cannot read what you offer on a daily basis perhaps you might consider a weekly post that would also give your more space which it sounds like you need.
    Be kind to yourself, enjoy your vacation and I send hugs. Eyahnna

  6. Thank you for your sharing. You are not alone in your struggle, we all feel the same with different story but the overall image is the same and the spiritual world is with us in the struggle. Go on your vacation, leave us uninformed and we will look forward to hearing from you when you reenter. Blessing and God speed.

  7. “In many respects the present body, just because it offers the spirit the possibility of rising high, also gives the possibility of suffering. While, therefore, the soul is able to ascend — the soul of the seer — as the Apocalyptist has described, into spiritual regions, in order to receive the Gospel of Love, and in spirit is able to feel the bliss sweet as honey, yet the seer lives in a present-day body, and in accordance with this he must say that the ascent produces in the present body the antithesis of that bliss in many respects. He expresses this by saying that although the little book is at first sweet as honey when he eats it, it gives him severe pains in the belly. But this is only a small reflection of the “being crucified in the body.” The higher the spirit rises, the more difficult it is for it to dwell in the body, and this is the symbolical expression for these pains: “being crucified in the body.” Apocalypse of St. John, lecture 8 [GA 104]

      1. I understand. I have been experiencing some unusual aches and pains lately which would have me lie down rather than even sit or stand. Steiner spoke about what it means to feel that we are carrying a beam across our backs in continuing to live in these physical bodies, having been so densified and mineralized; a cross of lignified wood, so to speak. Then, I opened Psalm 13, and it reminded me that we must persevere to the end. Even Revelations pleads for us to hold steadfast and true, and try to wait just a little longer. Well, of course, that “little longer” concerns the opening of the sixth seal. That is when definite resolutions for the good will come forth, like the conversion of Judaism to Christianity, i.e, the 144,000 of the twelve tribes. Much else, as well.

    1. This is such a great passage. Thanks for sharing it, Steve. We (definitely I have, that’s for sure) tend to avoid pain, but in this perspective it brings a whole new meaning to it.

  8. Thank you Hazel,

    I relate and resonate with your words and questions…. maybe you need a seed note!

    I Hazel give myself permission to take some really needed breaks in nature and go on vacation with family or friends as I know I will be filled with love, light and joy from source and this will fill my soul with all the necessary ingredients to continue this path I have chosen in Love.

    Be well
    Sending you Love, Light and Joy

  9. Another great POD – you’re on a roll. I’m one of your readers who does peruse the entire contents of your blog, although I must admit there are times when I skim through, seeking what speaks to me. Thanks again for sharing honestly and frankly. Questioning oneself is always to be admired; if you were questioning others, that may be suspect, but self-analysis is a much-needed quality in today’s world. The pandemic situation forced some people to look at their lives, and to start that questioning process.

    The world isn’t going to come to an end if you take a break from writing. The important thing is that you have to live with yourself, and so you’re the only one who can make that decision, as to what’s right for you at this phase of your journey. I got the impression you’re going to go ahead with the family holiday, but maybe I got that wrong. Whatever your decision, we’ll adjust. You do what’s right for you, without any pressure from us, in consultation with the higher beings, of course. xox

    1. Thank you for your eternal support…
      i may not wite as much, but i still feel compeled to share the milestones from the claendar…

  10. Just to say I adore your posts and on days when there are no new ones, I will be more than happy to look back on ones I did not get the chance to thoroughly think about. All things give way to change and transformation, whether or not we listen, but when we do listen, the possibilities become magical. Best of luck to a little down time! My sense is that flower essences could be extremely helpful, not certain which…

    1. Hi Tanya – Thank you Yes, i must rememeber that even though in the moment the work feels like it meets the day, each moment is eternal.
      I love what you said about when we make something comscious it becomes magical. i believe this & will keep that in mind, thank you.
      I will look into the flower essences…xox

      1. Also, just to share, I too experience a great deal of physical pain, strongly exacerbated by sitting at a desk, and have found that half an hour of kundalini yoga a day, done religiously, makes all the difference in the world. Not sure why or if it would apply to you, but wanted to mention just in case it lights up for you. Xo

        1. Yes, sitting is the worst. I have a standing desk so i can go up & down, & I do chi gong & eurytmy most days, which is very helpful.
          thanks for being in the life boat with me

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