Owning up

Bary Knolly

Owning up – a Lenten-Tide confession:

In a study yesterday, I was triggered by a Steiner quote that speaks about how it is impossible to live into the words of Paul “Not I, but Christ in me” if we are coming from what he calls an ‘egotistically religious’ motivation. This really hit me hard. I see this as a core cause behind what has become a deep wound.

Over the years I have championed an initiative whose ideals live strongly in me, but despite my hard work & dedication, I see that my motivations were selfish. I wanted something back. I wanted to belong. I wanted to have friends. I longed to be included. I wanted to be part of the team, to be seen as valued asset. I deeply desired to co-create.

I hoped that they would be excited about supporting my offerings as well, being part of my initiatives. I hoped that they would join the study groups. I envisioned hanging out, having check-ins, brainstorming & sharing experiences, personal stories & biography, talking about everything.

Gosh, I guess I wanted them to think I was cool; someone they respected, consulted for wisdom & insights. And more than anything, I wanted them to love me – for who I am.

Yep, years of giving support on every level, even when the majority was pushing against it, given freely, but always in the back of my mind with a hope that it would be returned. Now that I have let myself see this clearly, I understand why it has never come to be, that actually the opposite is true, instead of drawing them to me, I repel them away with my desire, my neediness. Dear ones, please forgive me.

I see that to live into “Not I, but Christ in me” – to express Anthroposophia in wholeness – I must be held to a higher standard. I must learn to put my own longings aside to truly serve – to really love unconditionally, without hope of return.

Help me Angel, assist me Sophia, comfort me Mother Mary, as I strive.


Sky chart of Orion the Hunter.

13 March 2021 – “Speaking with the Stars”: Before dawn today Bella Luna goes into her New Moon phase behind the veil.


New Painting "Love is Our Way" - Steve Bell
Steve Bell

~Rumi quote for today:
“Love is the way
messengers from the mystery
tell us things.
Love is the mother
We are her children.
She shines inside us,
visible-invisible, as we trust or lose trust,
or feel it start to grow again.”


We are looking forward to seeing you at
The Anthroposophical Café!

Speaker: Hazel Archer-Ginsberg

When: Friday, March 19, 2021 at 5 pm (PT) 7 pm (MT) 8 pm (CT) 9 pm (ET)

Where: Zoom (code coming soon)

Holding the Chalice of Balance with Archangel Raphael – An exploration of the Vernal Equinox with Hazel Archer-Ginsberg*

At the time of the Spring Equinox, Raphael, Archangel of the East & the Element of Air, is active as the great Cosmic Physician. The Easter-Tide works on us thru the spiritual healing of inspiration, when we can open to the crowning of all truths found in the healing breath of humankind. In the Spring, the Easter event is recalled in many cultures & although the Mystery of Golgotha entered into the evolution of the Earth as a once-and-for-all event, it is renewed in us each year.

*Hazel Archer-Ginsberg – Founder of Reverse Ritual: Understanding Anthroposophy through the Rhythms of the Year & the ‘I Think Speech’ Podcast. Trans-denominational Minister, Essayist, Lecturer, Poet, Anthroposopher – working as the Festivals Coordinator of the Chicago Rudolf Steiner Branch, & the Central Regional Council of the Anthroposophical Society. Past Video Recordings


The 8-Fold Path to the Easter Elementals

Holy Week 2021 (March 28 – April 4): Starting on Palm Sunday then thru-out Holy Week including Easter Morning, we will meet every day on Zoom at 10:10 am (Central Time) to create together a Thought-Seed Egregore based on the Herbert Hahn Verse

When I think light, my soul shines,
When my soul shines, the earth is a star,
When the earth is a star, then I am, a true human being

Sophie Takata

& then we will take turns sharing the indications for that day from Rudolf Steiner / The Buddha’s 8 –fold Path, known as the ‘Weekday Exercises’ (let me know if you would like to lead one of the days? (5 min) Holy Week  chart

Resolves or ‘RIGHT JUDGMENT.’ having been formed independently of sympathies and antipathies.

Talking – ‘RIGHT WORD.’

External actions- ‘RIGHT DEED.’

The ordering of life. – ‘RIGHT STANDPOINT.’


The endeavor to learn as much as possible from life. – ‘RIGHT MEMORY.’ (Remembering what has been learned from experiences).

To pay attention to one’s ideas. – ‘RIGHT OPINION.’

The octave of the New Sun
To turn one’s gaze inwards –

Whoever is holding the leading thoughts for that day will tie it into some 5-10 min. artistic exercise based on the indications

Group sharing (5 min)

We close with the ‘reversed’ Hahn verse.
I am a True Human Being
For the Earth is a Star
The Earth is a Star
When I Think Light
When I think Light
My Soul Shines

*Dear friends, please join the call at 10:05 am to get settled in so we can begin the Thought-Seed promptly at 10:10 am
Topic: The 8-Fold Path thru Holy Week 2021
Time: Starting on Palm Sunday Mar 28 – thru Easter Morning, 2021 10:10 AM Central Time (US and Canada)
Every day, 8 occurrence(s)
Mar 28, 2021 10:10 AM
Mar 29, 2021 10:10 AM
Mar 30, 2021 10:10 AM
Mar 31, 2021 10:10 AM
Apr 1, 2021 10:10 AM
Apr 2, 2021 10:10 AM
Apr 3, 2021 10:10 AM
Apr 4, 2021 10:10 AM

Daily: https://zoom.us/meeting/tJErdOqsqj8iGNzL8iNTwKUXyrvmVGSSXqaW/ics?icsToken=98tyKuCtqDgpHtCRuBuPRowMBIjCb-jwiClHjY1HsEfsLRRESTbOL_BUP4RYI-vo

Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/95633444828?pwd=Wk56K08vK2dNQUhhK0Q2S09zQWJrQT09 Meeting ID: 956 3344 4828 – Passcode: bee

Dial by your location Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aX8X3nrr3 Meeting ID: 956 3344 4828 – Passcode: 425730

Easter Sunday – 4 April 2021, in person at the Rudolf Steiner Branch Chicago & online 2 pm – 4 pm Central Time.

Group Eurythmy with Mary Ruud

Dottie Zold – On the Buddha’s 8-Fold Path

Keynote with Ines Katharina (Bee Keeper, Founder of the Biodynamic Emerald Honeybee Sanctuary, Waldorf Teacher) Ines will connect the Easter Thought with the Elemental Beings & the flight of the Queen Bee.

We close with Singing ‘ & Eurythmy

Potluck Social Time in the Schreinerei – Please bring food & drink to share

$10 Suggested Donation (can’t make it? or joining us online? please consider supporting this event, Thank you)

Hazel Archer is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Easter Festival for the Elementals

Time: Apr 4, 2021 02:00 PM Central Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/7052931041?pwd=Z0ZmT05FdDZIclE4RFBLZWNwWXJ5QT09 Meeting ID: 705 293 1041 – Passcode: Easter

Dial by your location – Meeting ID: 705 293 1041 – Passcode: 776400 – Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/a961qZZhF

Events & Festivals Committee of the Rudolf Steiner Branch
of The Anthroposophical Society, 4249 North Lincoln Ave.
Chicago, IL 60618 (maphttps://donate.rschicago.org/ 

14 thoughts on “Owning up

  1. Dearest Hazel, in “Owning Up”- you speak so personally – so honestly, so intimately – and I find you speak what lives in me…… and I guess you may speak for Many.
    I read recently a quote from Jacues Lusseran in a piece of his writing called “The Blind in Society” : He shared that in his book “And There Was Light”- “it is the most personal of books I have written – and the most intimate – this has given me the opportunity to establish connecting with the greatest number of my fellow human beings……. when we take the trouble to plum the depths of an experience and extract from it all it contains, the simplest as well as the most hidden, we cease to speak of ourselves and ourselves alone. Instead we enter a realm of the most precious, the realm of universal experience, which we share with all others.””
    Take courage and thank you.

    1. Hi Caroline –
      I am grateful that my angel taps me to show & tell, I resisted for many years, but it really does lift the burden off the heart to share, & like you said to find that we are not alone & that we are all trying to work thru these kinds of things is a godsend. Thank you for reaching out & for the quote, I really relate to this idea of the Universal experience.

  2. Deeply moving confession Hazel. I take my hat off to you. And thank you for who you are and all you do. What I read is often an inspiration moving me towards new thoughts. I really appreciate all the work you put into these daily updates!

    1. Hi Katherine – I am feeling shy now, very exposed, but grateful for the non-judgemental feeback & the positive human interaction.
      Thank you for being on this journey with me.

  3. I commend your honesty. When human beings set aside time and make the effort, AND find the power to behold themselves, it’s not always a pretty picture that we find. Just thinking, Hazel, what if all your evolving up to this point has served to give you that necessary power, that power that’s been concealed but wants finding?

    I’ve been working with a thought from the Portal of Initiation (Scene 8) this week, where Capesius says “To learn to know our being, we must first find that power in ourselves that as true spirit is able to conceal itself from us”. Then Maria adds this “To find ourselves, we must unfold that power first that penetrates into our inmost being. The word of wisdom says in truth, ‘evolve yourself in order to behold yourself’ “.

    We’re all evolving together; don’t condemn self, but keep the gaze fixed on your ideal as your guiding star. That light will guide you to your haven of rest. With love.

    1. Dear Maverick – I think the 6 Basic Exercises are really working in me, purging all the crap in the crevice’s, pulling up the causes to the effects. I am grateful for the reveling even if it hurts to bring the shadow into the light. And then there I am staring at myself like, ok so what are you going to do about it?

      Those roots are so deep, so old, so rightoeusly justified that it will take more then just naming to transform. But like you said i must believe that thru Christ all is possible in time…

      Thanks for the Portal quotes, they are sublime, very helpful, thank you.

          1. Very good point. Christ – Michael – Sophia; I think you have even said so a number of times by now. It all demonstrates so much evolution for the good since Paul’s vision at Damascus. Now, today, we have the Christ right here. Also, the Being Anthroposophia, who is a real person guiding those of us from the spiritual world right next to this one. I hope you feel that your recent initiative work with the “yipsters” at YIP was successful. In my mind, everything you do is a success, and even/especially when you take on challenging themes.

            1. I love the wholeness that a Trinity brings. The triangle is my fav. configuration, besides the circle of course.

              The trials of becoming truly human enable us to to live more fully into the being of Anthroposophia – & we must work to bring our consciousness to Michael & develop Love exemplified by The Christ…

              I struggle with this idea of ‘success’…
              I enjoied doing the reasearch & putting together the presentation.
              I feel it was well recieved & stimulated a lot of conversation, which I see as valuable.
              I often get caught in the numbers, a sense of anxiety around that is still something I fight with in myself.

      1. Sounds like the 6BE are an effectual means to that spiritual power for you – must be what you need at this time. It helps me when I understand that we’re all on different planes of development, but all are working towards Oneness. We should never belittle those who are on lower planes than we’re on, but should desire the help of those who are on higher planes. Lately, I’ve been asking for the aid of soul groups on the other side – sensing that I really need their help if I’m to stay true to my ideal, and be a channel of blessing to others. These are times of rapid change we’re living in. With love.

        1. Yes, good point Maverick, we do have so many allies on the otherside that need to work with us.
          I tend to feel more comfortable with the spiritual beings than with human beings, so I often picture their angel & my angel working it out while we sleep.

          1. Hi Hazel,

            Are the six basic exercises to be found here: Guidance In Esoteric Training?


            Isn’t there also something called, “the falling steeple exercise” here? As we have arrived at the midpoint of the Lenten-Tide, and even beyond (25 days), I have been seeing the importance of combining the 6BE with the 8fold Path of Righteousness, which makes for 14 mind-worthy exercises on a daily basis. As such, fourteen is a “grail”, and this year you seem to be emphasizing it to real account. Ash Wednesday to Lazarus Saturday is 40 days.

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